The Motherload...

 Recently I took time to watch the very poignant and interesting documentary, The Motherload on CBC Doc Zone. I encourage all mothers and fathers to take a look, I'd be surprised if you didn't find yourself or another mother you loved represented in this piece.

I'll admit I have been wonderfully blessed in that I have been able to be home with both my girls until they were both able to go to school full time, and here in Ontario that means the tender of age of four. Not so for other areas of this fine country. 

However, in two short weeks I will be embarking on the final stage of my Public Relations Diploma and embarking on an internship in Toronto. Since I live almost two hours away from this great city I will be living in Toronto during the week and my Mom will be watching the girls for me. How blessed is that, right? Right? 

Okay, so it's an ideal internship, that suite my previous experience and will hopefully further my career after being a stay at home Mom (with a part time job through some of it) for six years - but I would be lying to you and to myself if I didn't admit the transition is going to be tough.

I'm doing it for my girls, I want to be self-sufficient and I want to continue to grow and use my past career skills in television/film production, so why do I feel so guilty? Because I won't be making their packed lunches or picking them up from school for four weeks? Because I won't have to come home and wrangle a dinner from whatever leftovers are in the fridge? Nope. It's because I've taken this job as a mother very seriously, and given it my all. It's like being promoted away from a team who want you to stay. 

In some small way I am making a choice to step away from those tedious daily routines and embark on something that begins solely within me. Oh, I know all those tasks are still there and will be waiting for me in a months time, but how will I be able to focus on all the wonderful nuances of their hilarious rapture? 

In April I will be able to share what my girls continue to teach me about how to handle change, what to do when routines are different and ways to really tell someone how much you miss them when they are away. I will continue to engage with them as I always have and will have all new stories of my own to share with them.