The Motherload...

 Recently I took time to watch the very poignant and interesting documentary, The Motherload on CBC Doc Zone. I encourage all mothers and fathers to take a look, I'd be surprised if you didn't find yourself or another mother you loved represented in this piece.

I'll admit I have been wonderfully blessed in that I have been able to be home with both my girls until they were both able to go to school full time, and here in Ontario that means the tender of age of four. Not so for other areas of this fine country. 

However, in two short weeks I will be embarking on the final stage of my Public Relations Diploma and embarking on an internship in Toronto. Since I live almost two hours away from this great city I will be living in Toronto during the week and my Mom will be watching the girls for me. How blessed is that, right? Right? 

Okay, so it's an ideal internship, that suite my previous experience and will hopefully further my career after being a stay at home Mom (with a part time job through some of it) for six years - but I would be lying to you and to myself if I didn't admit the transition is going to be tough.

I'm doing it for my girls, I want to be self-sufficient and I want to continue to grow and use my past career skills in television/film production, so why do I feel so guilty? Because I won't be making their packed lunches or picking them up from school for four weeks? Because I won't have to come home and wrangle a dinner from whatever leftovers are in the fridge? Nope. It's because I've taken this job as a mother very seriously, and given it my all. It's like being promoted away from a team who want you to stay. 

In some small way I am making a choice to step away from those tedious daily routines and embark on something that begins solely within me. Oh, I know all those tasks are still there and will be waiting for me in a months time, but how will I be able to focus on all the wonderful nuances of their hilarious rapture? 

In April I will be able to share what my girls continue to teach me about how to handle change, what to do when routines are different and ways to really tell someone how much you miss them when they are away. I will continue to engage with them as I always have and will have all new stories of my own to share with them.

Parenting: Girls Vs. Boys

 

Sugar and Spice and Everything's Nice. Photograph by Rich Hunt.

Blue is for boys and pink is for girls…right? Society has long debated the answer to this- and many other gendered queries. There is no question that boys and girls are different, and that those differences are just a part of what make each of unique. So is parenting a boy versus a girl a vastly dissimilar experience? Are children of the same sex likely to all have the same attributes? Copious studies have been done on this very idea. 

I won’t claim to have the answers to these questions, but I do have two brothers and friends with boys, and let me tell you, the debate is an interesting one. Attend any mothering group or talk to parents who have one of each and you will hear opinions about how raising a girl is different from raising a boy. Boys tend to be rougher with their toys, girls are cuddlier, boys are rambunctious while girls can sit longer and play quietly. Maybe. But then there’s my Izzy who takes everything apart and loves to play cars, and my nephew Hudson, who cuddles his bear like a baby. Perhaps toys are just toys.

All girls are not ‘sugar and spice’ and all boys are not ‘snails and puppy dog tails.’ In reality, all of us have each of these attributes and appreciation of both is an important part of becoming who we are and will be.  

All I can hope for my girls is that they grow up understanding that they are free to make choices based on their likes and dislikes, their skills and passions. Their gender, while an important and vital part of who they are does not define what their goals are or who they should be.  

Jimmy Kimmel talks to kids about the differences between boys and girls.

 

Creativity... Not Just For Kids

Painting by Abby aged 4

I believe that children are innately creative. Allowing them to express that creativity is absolutely one of the greatest joys of parenting. Whether it is writing, drawing, playing music or dancing - watching kids perform is a wonderful experience. I try to expose my girls to as many different forms of creative expression as possible. Among other benefits, creative play teaches children problem solving skills, fine motor skills and cooperation. 

As we get older we tend to get busy in the daily chores of life and forget about the creative expression that used to give us so much joy. In our ever quest for perfection maybe we give up on ourselves and don't allow for that freedom to be expressed. Think about all of the videos on Youtube of children expressing themselves, without apology, to encourage the rekindling of your own expression. 

This is a song Abby wrote about her love for the earth. May I suggest that this week we all take time to do something creative just for your soul. Here is an excellent article on ways to crank up your creativity. Don't be concerned about its excellence or validity. Maybe the point of it is just to be happy in that moment. If you really feel courageous, share your art with a friend, colleague or relative. Allow yourself to remember that just participating in the exchange of ideas between two people can bring happiness, no matter what your age. 
Remember performing for your parents and how exciting that felt? You are the star of your own show, just as you were when you 6 years old, make it a good day!