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| Sugar and Spice and Everything's Nice. Photograph by Rich Hunt. |
Blue is for boys and pink is for girls…right? Society has long debated the answer to this- and many other
gendered queries. There is no question that boys and girls are different, and
that those differences are just a part of what make each of unique. So is
parenting a boy versus a girl a vastly dissimilar experience? Are children of
the same sex likely to all have the same attributes? Copious studies have been done on this very idea.
I won’t claim to have the answers to these questions,
but I do have two brothers and friends with boys, and let me tell you, the
debate is an interesting one. Attend any mothering group or talk to parents who
have one of each and you will hear opinions about how raising a girl is
different from raising a boy. Boys tend to be rougher with their toys, girls
are cuddlier, boys are rambunctious while girls can sit longer and play
quietly. Maybe. But then there’s my Izzy who takes everything apart and loves
to play cars, and my nephew Hudson, who cuddles his bear like a baby. Perhaps toys are just toys.
All girls are not ‘sugar and spice’ and all boys are not ‘snails and puppy dog tails.’ In reality, all of us have each of
these attributes and appreciation of both is an important part of becoming who
we are and will be.
All I can hope for my girls is that they grow
up understanding that they are free to make choices based on their likes and
dislikes, their skills and passions. Their gender, while an important and vital
part of who they are does not define what their goals are or who they should be.
Jimmy Kimmel talks to kids about the differences between boys and girls.
Great insights! My sister and I break that "boys are rougher and more rambunctious" myth. Out of my brother and I, my sister was the roughest with her toys and more rambunctious. I also love the Jimmy Kimmel video, I was laughing so hard. And you're right, gender should not/does not define a child's goals or who they should be,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved the Jimmy Kimmel video, made the mistake of watching it in the library and got a few weird looks from people, haha. My sister definitely breaks the myth of girls can sit quietly, she blabbers about everything and always uses a loud voice. So much so you can hear her from a good distance away. I definitely agree with both you and Michael. Gender is only a label which should not stop children from doing what they want, regardless of how 'tomboy-ish' or 'girly' it may be.
ReplyDeleteVery insightful, Jess! As a mom of two boys, I find it intriguing, hearing the differences of how girls act or react. I believe it's all relative. Boys or girls, no matter which, need to be taught respect, empathy, love and trust. Maybe the way the message is delivered would vary, but then again, wouldn't it differ from child to child regardless? Great post, Jess!
ReplyDeleteI have two sons, one who absolutely loved PINK as a toddler. I allowed him to wear pink shirts and stuff he liked as was afraid he'd be made fun of in school. When he went to pre-school he still loved pink and wore a pink dress shirt for picture day and of course got teasd by the other 4 and 5 year olds. However, I got a call from the teacher that evening saying how proud she was of the fact that he stood up for himself and that she wanted to pass on kudos to me as a mother. She said my son told the naysayers, "God makes pink flowers and there is pink in the sunsets and in rainbows. If it is good enough for God, it is good enough for me!: That was the end of discussion. As he grew up he of course deviated away from pink, but he still loves the purples, fushias, roses, etc in colours he decorates his apt with. Let your girls choose for themselves....no such thing as pink is for girls and blue for boys. my own favourite colour is BLUE!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJessica,
ReplyDeleteGreat blog post! I like the distinction you have made between how boys and girls and how they tend to react differently. I think it would be quite entertaining to raise a girl as I have read a lot of your statuses regarding your daughter. I like the point you addressed about how boys and girls both need to be taught the same valuable lessons as they grow up.
All of this is very true! Society does tend to categorize children with blue and pink.
ReplyDeleteIt's awesome that you've told your girls that they are free to decide what they like on their own. Not all parents support that. Very admiring!