Pictures of Children Crying… Is it Funny?

A Perspective On the Recent Onslaught of Pictures of Children Crying

There is a lot of Internet buzz right featuring the hilarity of children crying and the silly reasons that they are upset. I would be lying if at first I didn’t find the whole concept quite funny. I mean here was something I could totally relate to. However, the whole idea seemed to bother me on a level I couldn’t quite define. The next morning when my own daughter was in a crying puddle on the floor because she couldn’t wear her summer sandals out in the snow, I wasn’t laughing, and taking her photograph to commemorate the fit was not something I wanted to do.

I realized that the things our children cry about might not be a big deal to us as adults, but when you’re three years old that event is crucial to the moment they are living in. Children live 100 per cent in the moment; it is one of the glorious things about being a child. This is a skill that we seek to rediscover as adults.

This week, in the pursuit of learning from my children, I hope to concentrate more on appreciating each moment. We’ve all heard it before, we only really have this second and it is gone as soon as it arrives. So if I find myself feeling upset about something that’s really quite trivial, I think I’ll take a breath to really feel that emotion instead of rushing through to the next task at hand. Hopefully nobody will be around the corner to take my photograph and post it on their blog.

Dealing With Frenemies

 

Abby's first frenemy?

I found this piece of paper in Abby’s backpack this week. I think it’s clear Jillian was not her favourite person that day. It got me to thinking about friendships and relationships and how early they start influencing our lives. I wanted to speak to Abby about the note, and I needed to consider how to address her potential feelings of dislike and maybe anger at a classmate. At first Abby didn’t want to talk about the note. She thought she was going to be in trouble and she felt badly about her feelings towards Jillian. Now I was dealing with another emotion, guilt. I wanted her to know that her feelings are always valid, negative or not, and that expressing them in a non-violent way was actually quite a mature decision.

My experience is that right from preschool children are told that everyone in their class is their friend and I wonder if in some small way this is setting our children up for defeat. Perhaps the sooner our children can begin to understand that sometimes other people don't want to share their space with them the better off they will be. Children are fickle creatures; they can be best friends with someone one day and not want to play with them at all the next. I decided to tell Abby that she didn’t need to be friends with someone who was mean to her, but that that it was important to always be kind. I think this is an important point, and relevant considering all of the bullying issues surrounding our schools right now.  Forcing children to be friends with someone who may not be treating them well denies them their first experiences with reacting to their gut feelings and setting up their own boundaries.

This week I am encouraged to listen to my own internal reactions, to be kind and to allow myself the freedom of expressing those emotions without guilt. 

Here is an article I found of particular interest about strengthening social and emotional competence.